Personal Concerns and Next Steps- #3

Throughout this course my main concern has been that I am afraid that I am not going to be a successful teacher of mathematics. This is not because I feel that the class isn’t teaching me enough, but I am worried that my own personal fears about math are holding me back from reaching my potential. I think this is due to the new way in which we are taught mathematics in this class. I have struggled with math through my entire educational career and this new way of learning has definitely showed me how I have somewhat developed learned helplessness over the years from my school years prior to college. My past teachers did not challenge me to find solutions on my own and when I asked for help they would basically give me the answer and I still had no idea how I got that answer, and sadly, I was satisfied with that way of learning. This class has made me realize what I need to work on in order to break my learned helplessness habit in math. If I do not fully understand the concepts (or even if I do) we are working on in class I go back through the material after class and try to make sense of it. I have started using the online manipulatives and they have really helped me to understand why we add and subtract fractions the way we do and different ways that it can be done. I feel like by going over the information and using different materials I am re-learning the math facts, which is very helpful to me. Reading the textbook assignments has also been helpful to me. I am beginning to feel like I can be successful at math and I need to continue pushing myself to make sure that I understand and think about what I am doing and why I am doing it when it comes to solving mathematics problems. I am thankful for this new way of thinking about mathematics because I feel that my struggle will help me to better understand and relate to my future students who are struggling